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The "Oh Crap" Guide to Starting Your Business Website

So, you’ve decided to start a business. Congratulations! You’re now officially the CEO, marketing director, janitor, and customer service rep—all rolled into one. And at some point, maybe after realizing that running a business involves more than just a Facebook page and good vibes, you’ll mutter the words:

“Oh crap, I need a website.”

Fear not, fellow entrepreneur! This guide will walk you through the most important things to know before diving into website land, saving you time, money, and a few forehead smacks.

1. Own Your Stuff (Seriously, Don’t Rent It)

That free website builder that promises “an easy, no-hassle site” might seem tempting, but let’s be real—it’s basically the digital version of renting a billboard in someone else’s backyard.

If you don’t own your domain name (yourbusiness.com) and hosting, you’re at the mercy of a platform that can shut down, change its pricing, or slap ads for cat food on your homepage. Buy your own domain and hosting—it’s like owning the keys to your own store instead of renting a pop-up tent in a parking lot.

2. Don’t Let Your Nephew Build It

We all know that one person who swears their cousin’s best friend’s roommate “knows web design.” While that might work if you need a MySpace revival, your business website needs to look legit.

A site that looks homemade is fine if you’re selling birdhouses on the side, but if you’re running a business, first impressions matter. Your website is your digital storefront—people judge fast. If it looks sketchy, they’ll be gone before you can say, “But my nephew said he was good at this.”

3. Keep It Simple, Genius

Somewhere out there, a poor customer is trapped on a business website from 2012, trying to close a hundred pop-ups, navigate a ten-tab menu, and figure out why there’s auto-playing music. Don’t let this be you.

Here’s the golden rule:

  • Make sure your contact info is easy to find.

  • Don’t clutter it with a novel-length “About Us” page (nobody reads those).

  • If people can’t figure out what you do in 5 seconds, they won’t stick around.

Your website should work like a helpful employee—not that one worker who disappears when things get busy.

4. Google Exists, So Use It

Ever wonder how some businesses magically show up first when you Google something? That’s called SEO (Search Engine Optimization), and while it sounds techy, it’s basically just making sure Google knows what your business does.

A few easy wins:

  • Use real words in your website copy. If you’re a bakery, say “custom cakes in Birmingham” instead of “We provide delightful confectionary experiences.”

  • Get listed on Google My Business. It’s free and makes you show up in maps.

  • Update your site every so often—Google doesn’t like digital ghost towns.

5. Your Website Shouldn’t Feel Like a Gym Membership

You know those gym memberships that charge you every month even though you stopped going three years ago? Some website services do the same thing—locking you into expensive plans for basic features.

If someone tries to sell you a website with “monthly fees” just to keep it running, read the fine print. You should only be paying for things like domain renewal, hosting, and optional updates—not just to keep the lights on.

Final Thought: Don’t Overthink It

A lot of small business owners put off getting a website because they feel overwhelmed. But here’s the truth—a simple, clean, and clear website will always beat a fancy, confusing mess.

Get the basics right, keep it updated, and remember: your website works for you 24/7—even when you’re sleeping, on vacation, or knee-deep in an unexpected supply chain crisis.



Now, go forth and make the internet a better place—one good business website at a time!

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